Totally Choice

Exactly How Tall is Barack Obama? Is he pretty tall, but looks short because Michelle Obama is really tall?
Answer? 6′ 1.5″
Michelle Obama? 5′ 11″
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, you’re welcome.

Never Buy Clothing as a Gift for a Fat Woman

Hollywood police say a man wielding a hammer lost a fight to a man with a letter opener.

What a pussy (guy with hammer). Guaranteed, John Henry wins that fight.

…even if Herbert Kornfeld is the man armed with the letter opener.

Nope! They’re just out of next to everything at my local shop, thanks to their inventory practices!
Today’s Venti dark roast:

Thanks for covering my back today, generic Solo cup!
Yesterday’s Iced Coffee Lid:

So what if it’s bulky, ridiculous, and meant for a frappacino.
Last Week’s coffee sleeve (another cup):

Last week’s energy packets for doubleshot on ice?:

A recent media revelation has revealed what most citizens (going to heaven) have long suspected, that Sarah Palin’s stance on energy policy, building a $30 billion dollar gas pipline in Alaska, is a pre-ordained plan of God’s. Clearly, this project is crucial to “unifying people and companies… so pray for that.”

As if it weren’t already obvious, the Huffington Post also had to point out to it’s stupified base, what Sarah Palin has been announcing all along, that there is a plan for the Iraq War, and that plan is God’s plan.

But here is where confusion sets in. Bear with me liberals, this could be a particularly rocky read for you. The John McCain camp has made it clear that they are not in favor of a windfall profits tax on oil companies; however, Gov. Sarah Palin recently supported a tax increase on big oil, providing an extra 6 billion dollars to the superfluous Alaskan budget. So which position is part of God’s plan? Did one of these candidates forget to read their daily Republican talking points? It’s quite simple, really. They are both right! And if you don’t understand that, this is part of God’s plan as well. And if that too is confusing, pray for wisdom, so that you may finally put your country first, and not let sin stand in the way of progress.

One thing we can all agree on (god said so), is that Sarah Palin looks smokin hot on this motorcycle.